I'm a Hippie

Today's Tally:

Laundry: 1+1+1+1+1 and maybe +1 more. So many things happen during the day that I forget to remember.

I need to stop using words like "finally". I "finally" ate breakfast; I "finally" got it done; I "finally" got around to blogging, etc, etc. The use of the word "finally" is judgemental and harsh. Remember, I'm working on being nice to myself. So, instead of saying, "I finally ate breakfast at about 11:15 this morning" (even though I've been up since 6:30), mearly stating that I ate breakfast is enough. No judgement, only joy that I am nourishing my body. No condemning myself for the 5 hour wait. Just enjoying my small and simple shrimp and green pea salad (it was good). Just saying that I ate breakfast and being happy and relaxed about it. Being happy that I could take time out of my busy schedule to enjoy this moment of sustenance.
My husband (who happened to be reading over my shoulder at the time) suggested that instead of "finally", I substitute it for words such as: peacefully, triumphantly, happily. Pretty much any positive "--ly" word will do. Try it! It changes your entire outlook!


My two oldest children are home-schooled through a virtual school and today was the bi-weekly online meeting with their "teacher". One of my recent discoveries about myself is that I am a Hippie in disguise. When they say, "Peace, man!", I am all over it. Even if I have to rip out all your vocal cords, I will have peace. Peace at all costs. I will have my Ohm. Do "militant" and "peace" go together? The armed forces probably think so, but that's an entirely different discussion. Anyway, about the conference. Because I have allowed my husband to enable me, we have a very lenient policy on discipline (discipline? What's that?). The teacher was asking why my oldest hasn't been doing the work, to which my child promptly replies, "Because I don't like doing schoolwork." As I am shaking my head at the ignorance of my child's brutal honesty, I start to hear what I expect to hear from the teacher. "Well, you may not like it but that's what you're supposed to be doing at this time in your life. If it wasn't with us, then it would have to be at a brick-and-mortar school. Now, I know we've talked about this before (speaking to me) and I guess we just have different views about education. I think that it's very important and my children don't have a choice in the matter. As long as they're under my roof, they'll do as I say, until they're out on their own. In my opinion, we, as adults, being older and having more life experience, know better than a child the consequences that their decisions will have later in life." And on, and on, and on. I must interject that I am a Gemini and, as such, have a split personality by nature. So while half of me is chafing from the scolding from the teacher and yelling into the other room, "Yeah! Are you listening!?", the other half of me is thinking, "Yeah, but what about peace and letting people be who they are and learning the things that will make them happy?" I know the latter half of me is deceiving myself. The real reason is simply that I don't want to fight!! I don't like it, I don't have the strength for it, it's exhausting, it's humiliating, it's demoralizing, it's loud, and (in the short term) your children hate you and throw even bigger, huge, giant, stinky fits! I don't consider myself a coward. While trying not to take the teachers comments as a personal attack, I thought, "How nice that you have so much backbone." This is another thing that I am working on. How to get the children to do what they're supposed to without giving in to my "Peace at all costs" attitude. Sometimes the cost is just too high and a temporary khaos needs to reign in order to have peace eternal.

My soapbox and I will have much more to say later.

Accomplishments of the Day:
Laundry
Blogging
Making dinner
Repairing an apron
Helping my Mom sew
Called our landlord about the water heater
Got the kids up and to school on time
Bathed a kid while having to boil water for the heat because our water heater is not staying lit
Washed my hair
Cleaned the table off after dinner
Did I mention doing laundry? (Our dryer is still out)
That's all that comes to mind for now.

I shall wish you good evening and pleasant dreams. I've been dreaming about tsunamis lately. I'll tell you what it means later. It makes sense but now I'm curious...what could it be?